Facing the Fear

Today i am covering the subject of 'avoidance & facing fear'. Having worked with many individuals suffering with mental health issues i have learned a lot of techniques that have helped them overcome many obstacles.

A definition of  fear:-

fear

/ˈfir/

noun

• 1.an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat:"he is prey to irrational fears"synonymsterror, fright, fearfulness, horror, alarm, ... moreantonymscalmness, confidence

Alex Niles in 'Psychology Today' describes fear as "an emotional response induced by a perceived threat that causes a change in brain and organ function, as well as in behaviour."

To cope with fear we need to be able to:

1. firstly face up to it (Acknowledgement),
2. secondly understand it (what has caused it and how it manifests itself)
3. and lastly overcome it (manage & control)  

SO how can we do 1 and 2 in order to achieve 3??

Firsty, we need to understand that with fear often comes avoidance, whether it be of people, situations or places. This in turn causes anxiety and fear.

Avoidance is an important concept to help us understand why our anxiety is maintained and increases.  eventually we end up thinking that the only way i can cope with these situations is to avoid them. 

We need to face the fear through stages one step at a time.

1. Setting targets:- identifying the situations that are avoided and/or cause anxiety (be specific and detailed). Start with the easiest tht you are most likely to tackle initially. 
2. Grade these tasks/targets:- break each one (starting with the easiest) down into smaller specific tasks, increasing in difficulty. Be confident in your prospect of achieving this. Use coping skills that you have used before to tackle this.
3. Practice:- Taking each task one at a time, using your coping skills,  practice these tasks until it is no longer difficult for you to do. It is perfectly natural to experience some anxiety whilst doing this but your confidence will grow as long as you practice often and regularly. Daily if possible. 

Resources:

• Working Minds UK: https://www.working-minds.org.uk/documents/graded-exposure.pdf
• Very Well Mind: https://www.verywellmind.com/practice-social-anxiety-disorder-exposure-therapy-3024845
• OCD UK: https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/exposure-response-prevention/

    

Forward planing to achieve your goals

Planning Alternative Tomorrows with Hope...This is actually the definition for a tool called PATH. I love this tool and have a large copy on the wall in my workspace. It's basically a visual planning tool that can be used for problem solving as well as forward planning for short or long term life goals, whatever they may be. Weight loss, fitness goal, work achievement or life achievement, and the list goes on.

"A goal without a PLAN is just a wish"

I use to utilise this tool within my previous job roles with clients but it's a great tool for anyone to use in their personal life.

If you use this tool it an help you make immediate or direct action.

The tool is self explanatory but i will explain how to use it. You can redraw my template into your notebook, diary or on a larger piece of paper and stick on your wall. So let's  start by following the number order of the chart,

1. What is your dream,? make this as big or small as you wish
2. What is the goal that you are trying to achieve, this maybe something that you take from your dream
3. Look at where you are now in terms of being able to achieve this goal, what is your position and how do you feel now about where you are in the scheme of things
4. Now look at who can help you to achieve your goal. This maybe a person/s an organisation a service etc
5. Look at how you can build on your strengths, the skills that you have already that can help you on your journey
6. In order to move closer to your goal/dream what actions do you need to take over the next days, weeks or months. Break it down into realistic actions. Look at the people identified in step 4 to see where they will fit into your plan
7. Put a realistic and achievable plan together for what you need to do over the coming weeks/months (remember this isn't set in stone and can be adapted depending on how your actions pan out.
8. In order to achieve anything you have to start. So commit to taking the first steps. 

To get yourself started have a look at my previous post on How to live a productive lifestyle

Good Luck with planning and achieving your dream/goal  and remember

"You don't have to get it perfect,  you just need to get it started"...  

Joe Schoeder

Meditation for Mental Detox

Hi and welcome.

In my last blog post i touched on negative emotions and their effect. Today i want to look at methods to help with how we receive and deal with them.

Sometimes, we desperately want to make changes but can be so overwhelmed and caught up in our whirl wind, that we don't know where to start. This often results in us becoming stagnant, and we have the intention to start making changes but never get round to it.

"one day or day one...which will it be?...It's your decision" 

Understanding the processes that shape & create our inner & outer world forms part of the pathway to wisdom. The vast range of meditative traditions agree that it is understanding that frees us. (Christina Fieldman)

I discovered a number of years ago the power of breathe and breathing and the important role it can play as part of healing. This has now developed into meditation, yoga and tai chi. 

Deep controlled breathing at any time can bring about near instant relief from emotional distress.

You can dip your toe or delve deeper into meditation practices and techniques and make it an ongoing part of your everyday life. Until it becomes a state of mind not just an activity.  Practiced regularly over a period of time meditation can has many associated benefits; including reducing stress and anxiety, inducing peace & relaxation, self-awareness as well as improving overall health & well being.  

Meditation allows you the time to just be. For your mind to be at peace and to focus all your attention inwards experiencing the here and now. 

Breathing along with positioning, the environment and time are important aspects within meditation.

when to meditate?...best in the morning/evening. Needs to be at a time of day that best fits in with your routine 

what do you need?...you don't need any special equipment for meditation. The most important thing is a quiet, uninterrupted space.

However, some people myself included use things such as sounds (sounds of nature, drums), colours, smells or guided narrations. If unsure of how to start there are many meditation cd's, books and apps to get you started.

How to meditate?...some people lie down whilst meditating with some support under the head. Others prefer to be in a seated position. If you decide sitting is more comfortable for you then make sure that your back is straight, as energy travels through the spine so it needs to be able to flow freely. if you have a cd or an app then follow the instructions. 

If you have non of these you can either use visualisation or soft relaxing sounds. 

Breathing...a common breathing technique is to take deep controlled breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. This is to continue until you feel fully relaxed. If you find that you are having difficulty keeping rhythm counting up to 4-6 on the out-breath helps. 

Feel each part of your body relaxing on every out breath, beginning either at your feet or head. Visualise your body being cleansed. Feel strength going into your spine and entire body and fill your heart with love for yourself. 

The purpose of meditation is to let go of your thoughts and feelings of the outside world, to tune into your emotions, relax the mind & body and allow the higher self to lead. 

If you are totally new to the practice of meditation then start with 5-10 minutes and work your way up. Try to make it a part of your daily routine.  

There are a variety of different techniques out there to try, just find the right method for you that you can easily fit into your lifestyle.

Thanks for stopping by...next time i'll be looking at other methods for cleansing and healing. 

Dispelling Negative Emotions

A friend once said to me "right you've had your 75 seconds, now tell me 1 positive thing.."

Sometimes we can find ourselves holding onto negativity, whether it be a thought, a memory and incident or how another individual has made you feel.
According to author 'Russ Harris', 80% of our thoughts contain some form of negative content. So in the right context and for short periods of time these thoughts / feelings are natural. So it's quite normal to have them but the difficulty comes when we start to believe them and can't let go.

Anger, Jealousy, fear, resentment, frustration, grief and anxiety

By holding on we don't allow ourselves to move on and therefore can be stuck in what i refer to as 'sinking sand' It ends up dragging you down and drowning you.

Imagine that each time you hold onto something negative it anchors itself into the ground and you have to drag that wherever you go. And it just builds up and builds up and before you know it, it's like being stuck in quick sand.
Being in a negative emotional state for lengthy periods of time, can have an impact on your health, both physically and mentally by putting extra stress on your mind and body. This can sometimes manifest into sickness and disease.

If you hang onto negative thoughts, beliefs, memories in the end it can become too much to bear. So try and let go.

I truly believe that if you allow yourself  a time limit for this, your baggage will be a lot lighter.

These negativities manifest themselves in anger, guilt, self doubt, self loathing. All these can stop you from succeeding and fulfilling your full potential.
It's not a case of total avoidance...no...acknowledge the presence of that feeling/emotion. Without negative emotions it would be like living in a 'happy bubble' where everything is always happy and smiley
The challenges that we face and the bad experiences we have, can help us to develop in many ways and become stronger.

"turn your wounds into wisdom" Oprah Winfrey

The KEY is to start sorting out your emotional baggage, especially the more difficult one's. Start working through them one step at a time.

We all know that life can be serious, some things are avoidable. But we need to allow ourselves moments of joy, happiness and peace
Feed your soul with positivity-revisit things you used to enjoy doing, include a form of physical activity, try something new... 

Any positive changes that you make, no matter how small will change how you perceive and deal with your baggage and will start to produce different results.
There are a lot of self help books available on this topic to help you start your journey.

Thanks for visiting my blog today and please feel free to leave comments on topics covered. I would love for you to join me next time where i will be looking at methods to ease negativity and encourage positivity.

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