Facing the Fear

Today i am covering the subject of 'avoidance & facing fear'. Having worked with many individuals suffering with mental health issues i have learned a lot of techniques that have helped them overcome many obstacles.

A definition of  fear:-

fear

/ˈfir/

noun

• 1.an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat:"he is prey to irrational fears"synonymsterror, fright, fearfulness, horror, alarm, ... moreantonymscalmness, confidence

Alex Niles in 'Psychology Today' describes fear as "an emotional response induced by a perceived threat that causes a change in brain and organ function, as well as in behaviour."

To cope with fear we need to be able to:

1. firstly face up to it (Acknowledgement),
2. secondly understand it (what has caused it and how it manifests itself)
3. and lastly overcome it (manage & control)  

SO how can we do 1 and 2 in order to achieve 3??

Firsty, we need to understand that with fear often comes avoidance, whether it be of people, situations or places. This in turn causes anxiety and fear.

Avoidance is an important concept to help us understand why our anxiety is maintained and increases.  eventually we end up thinking that the only way i can cope with these situations is to avoid them. 

We need to face the fear through stages one step at a time.

1. Setting targets:- identifying the situations that are avoided and/or cause anxiety (be specific and detailed). Start with the easiest tht you are most likely to tackle initially. 
2. Grade these tasks/targets:- break each one (starting with the easiest) down into smaller specific tasks, increasing in difficulty. Be confident in your prospect of achieving this. Use coping skills that you have used before to tackle this.
3. Practice:- Taking each task one at a time, using your coping skills,  practice these tasks until it is no longer difficult for you to do. It is perfectly natural to experience some anxiety whilst doing this but your confidence will grow as long as you practice often and regularly. Daily if possible. 

Resources:

• Working Minds UK: https://www.working-minds.org.uk/documents/graded-exposure.pdf
• Very Well Mind: https://www.verywellmind.com/practice-social-anxiety-disorder-exposure-therapy-3024845
• OCD UK: https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/exposure-response-prevention/

    

Forward planing to achieve your goals

Planning Alternative Tomorrows with Hope...This is actually the definition for a tool called PATH. I love this tool and have a large copy on the wall in my workspace. It's basically a visual planning tool that can be used for problem solving as well as forward planning for short or long term life goals, whatever they may be. Weight loss, fitness goal, work achievement or life achievement, and the list goes on.

"A goal without a PLAN is just a wish"

I use to utilise this tool within my previous job roles with clients but it's a great tool for anyone to use in their personal life.

If you use this tool it an help you make immediate or direct action.

The tool is self explanatory but i will explain how to use it. You can redraw my template into your notebook, diary or on a larger piece of paper and stick on your wall. So let's  start by following the number order of the chart,

1. What is your dream,? make this as big or small as you wish
2. What is the goal that you are trying to achieve, this maybe something that you take from your dream
3. Look at where you are now in terms of being able to achieve this goal, what is your position and how do you feel now about where you are in the scheme of things
4. Now look at who can help you to achieve your goal. This maybe a person/s an organisation a service etc
5. Look at how you can build on your strengths, the skills that you have already that can help you on your journey
6. In order to move closer to your goal/dream what actions do you need to take over the next days, weeks or months. Break it down into realistic actions. Look at the people identified in step 4 to see where they will fit into your plan
7. Put a realistic and achievable plan together for what you need to do over the coming weeks/months (remember this isn't set in stone and can be adapted depending on how your actions pan out.
8. In order to achieve anything you have to start. So commit to taking the first steps. 

To get yourself started have a look at my previous post on How to live a productive lifestyle

Good Luck with planning and achieving your dream/goal  and remember

"You don't have to get it perfect,  you just need to get it started"...  

Joe Schoeder